1. |
The Year Of The Cunt
01:32
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The ghost of Jimmy Savile and James Blunt
Conspiring to bring down the government
That’s where we are in 2022
Jacob Rees, Nadine Dorries
Brexit Opportunities?
What is a satirist to do?
After Trump you woulda thunk
It couldn’t get more insaner
Now we’re confronted with a chump
Singing Gloria Gaynor
Boris says everyone close ranks
You’re not getting us out here without tanks
Squadron B, DM me, says Blunt
Shut the door, throw away the key
Don’t mention the monarchy
2022, the year of the cunt
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2. |
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The morning sun touched lightly on
The brains of Nadine Dorries
In an empty dusty cavern
Of an empty unused mind
As she snarled like a numptie
Dreaming of the big dog’s favours
‘Till the world turned to red
And the room went spinning round
At the age of thirty-seven
She realised she’d never
Ride through Whitehall in a sports car
With the warm wind in her hair
So she let her brain cells shrivel
And continued to drivel
Little nursery rhymes she’d memorised
From Tory head office
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3. |
Dick Wash
00:55
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Ooh ooh
Will you ever investigate
Cos let me tell ya everybody’s sick of having to wait
The system is not broke, it works a treat
If you’re a prime minister or police chief
It’s a Dick wash
Yet another Dick wash, yeah
Come on and sing it with me
(Dick wash)
Sing it with feelin’ y’all
(Dick wash, yeah)
Ooh
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4. |
Lebedev And Me
01:27
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Lebedev and me
The corrupt elite
Fuck democracy
And the economy
We’re all watching you
Egocentric guys
Look into your eyes
Tell the sweetest lies
Former Russian spies
They’re all watching you
Oh can’t you see
Dirty money
And the KGB
Zero empathy
Never mind the hordes
Take a seat in the Lords
There will always be
An attendance fee
We’ll look after you
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5. |
Liz Truss's Helmet
01:24
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Liz Truss’s helmet says Liz Truss is busy
Too busy to come to the phone
Liz Truss’s helmet says Liz Truss is tryin’
To start a new life of her own
Liz Truss’s helmet says Liz Truss is happy
“So why don’t you leave her alone?”
And the Kremlin operatives put nukes on alert
For the next four minutes
Please, stop the cosplay
And put all your toys away
Read the room, act like humans
You’re not a fighter pilot, you’re not on the front line
Liz Truss
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6. |
Cool Fuck Hats
00:36
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The Met police investigate the No.10 parties
Can I suggest they tackle the whole of the Tories please
Liz Truss, Priti Patel, Dominic Raab, Michael Gove
Rishi Sunak, Jacob Rees Mogg , Peter Bone
They like to go to parties but they’re never on their own
I know it will never happen because they’re all big pals
It’s also like that on TV, they’re all cool guys and gals
In their fuckhats (cool fuckhats)
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7. |
Little Rishi
00:37
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It smells a little fishy
Oh my little Rishi
Smells a little fishy
When your wife’s non-dom*
You don’t have to work hard
You can get a green card
Lie until you get caught
When your wife’s non-dom
Tax for her daddy
Not neccessary
Now she says sorry
Cos you have been caught
Chancer and liar
Gangster for hire
Money buys power
When your wife’s non-dom
*verse by Sir Henry Root @GorgonsonnSon
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8. |
Michael Fabricant
01:22
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Who can wear a toupee (who can wear a toupee)
On top of their head (on top of their head)
Cover it with wotsits and a dollop of glue?
Fabricant (Fabricant)
Michael Fabricant (Michael Fabricant)
Michael Fabricant says that people just spill out
To make themselves feel good (make themselves feel good)
They’re spilling out ,so you’d better get this party started
Spilling out of offices to get this party started
Shite spilling out of all of their orifices
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9. |
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I hear the sound of distant drums
It’s Oliver Dowden and his fashionable nostrums
Making a speech about freedom
Oliver Dowden and his fashionable nostrums
Freedom of speech means being free to say what you like
Unless it’s something about me which I don’t like
Which is completely different
You can’t slag off my government
Woke ideology is a blight
We should be allowed to say whatever we like
But if it’s derogatory to me or hurtful
Then we’ll legislate to make it illegal
I want the values of a free society
But don’t you dare to challenge me
So we must find the confidence
Of Oliver Dowden and his fashionable nostrums
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10. |
London Laundromat
01:38
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From the blood-soaked bribes to the ‘innocent’ donations
Of the Russian oligarchs
It’s all part of the London laundromat
British companies protect the money
Here in Londongrad
Yes, yes, yes, it’s the London laundromat
Putin-linked elites conspire together
Kompromat wherever
Unexplained wealth keeps the government
Wheels oiled and greased and run
Because that’s how it’s done
La-la-la la la la-la la-la la-la la-la
Oh, my poor robotic hack
Yes, yes, yes, it’s the London laundromat
La-la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la
Oh, the London laundromat
Yes, yes, yes, it’s the London laundromat
I like my football on a Saturday
Especially Chelsea, all right
I’ve got a big yacht for my holidays
And a big jet parked in Moscow tonight
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11. |
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Priti Patel with a dirty look
Knew right away that she’d have to get her hooks in you
A-yeah yeah yeah
It goes the same for all Tories
If you wanna celebrate them for turning on Boris
Please
Check the sleaze
Directly causing deaths with their policies
I’m looking at you Theresa and the rest
Motivated only by self interest
Rory, Ross, Ruth, David Davies
A-yeah yeah yeah
Your moral compass points to hell
Your moral compass points to hell
Gove, Sunak, Patel
Your moral compass points to hell
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12. |
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Priti Patel with a dirty look
Knew right away that she’d have to get her hooks in you
A-yeah yeah yeah
It goes the same for all Tories
If you wanna celebrate them for turning on Boris
Please
Check the sleaze
Directly causing deaths with their policies
I’m looking at you Theresa and the rest
Motivated only by self interest
Rory, Ross, Ruth, David Davies
A-yeah yeah yeah
Your moral compass points to hell
Your moral compass points to hell
Gove, Sunak, Patel
Your moral compass points to hell
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13. |
Tractor Porn
01:03
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I drove my tractor through your haystack last night
Fnarr fnarr
I made a film of it and it turned out alright
But some guy in the house of commons watched it online
And now he’s only went and gone and resigned
Oh, I’ve got a brand new side-line industry making tractor porn
I am spreading muck everywhere
Even on your lawn
Neil Parish was a subscriber, but now he’s gorn
Oh, I’ve got a brand new side-line industry making tractor porn
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The Meatless Edinburgh, UK
