1. |
Imagine Richard Dawkins
03:37
|
|||
Hello, cheese-eating scumbags.
The god of the old testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction.
Jealous and proud of it.
A petty, unjust, unforgiving control freak
A vindictive bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser
A misogynistic, homophobic racist
Infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal
Pestilential, megalamaniacal, sado-masochistic
Capriciously malevolent bully
Imagine with John Lennon, a world with no religion
Tread softly because you tread on my memes
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You, you may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope one day you will join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope one day you'll join us
And the world will be as one
If you don't like this country and what it was founded on and for,
Get the fuck out of it and go straight to Hell
PS. Fuck you, you communist whore
|
||||
2. |
Billy Cheese
00:42
|
|||
So may I introduce to you
The one and only Billy Cheese
And Sergeant Cheddar's Lonely Cheese Club Band
Biiiiiiiiiii
Lleeeeeeeeee
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
What would you do if i ran out of cheese?
me: *stands up and walks out*
|
||||
3. |
Doing It With It
02:00
|
|||
Ah look at all the lonely people
Ah look at all the lonely people
Doing it with it on a computer
D'you know that it's called CAD
It's in 3D
They can build houses
Isn't technology marvellous, what do you say
Esther McVey?
All the lonely people
At the Tory conference
Angry, sleepy people
What a bunch of cunts
Andrea Leadsom, dies on her arse
What a farce, no pizzazz or panache
Liz Truss - car crash
Look at them working, trying to whip
Up a crowd who don't want to be there
Nobody cares
All the Tory people
Where do they all come from?
They love a bit of groping
From Boris Johnson
Ah look at all the lonely people
Ah look at all the lonely people
|
||||
4. |
Telt!
02:12
|
|||
Telt, he needed telling
Telt, he's such a bellend
Telt, you know he needed telling, telt
When Boris Johnson came up to Edinburgh
He thought he'd pop along to Bute House to see Nicola
But he got booed and did not feel so self assured
I think you'll find he changed his mind and left by the back door
Skelped on the backside, the fucking clown
We don't appreciate you being round
Get back to the London underground
Won't you please, please be telt
And now our lives have changed in oh so many ways
Our independence seems to vanish in the haze
Oh every now and then I feel so insecure
We need independence like we've never done before
Skelped on the backside, the fucking clown
We don't appreciate you being round
Get back to the London underground
Won't you please, please be telt
|
||||
5. |
Boris's Yellowhammer
03:14
|
|||
A political pundit met a physical
Bullingdon bully
Asking quite politely if they could read
A summary
So they printed a sterling work of literature
Called Yellowhammer
Six whole pages, without any pictures
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Food and medicine shortages
And civil unrest - yay!
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Came down upon our heads
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Will not remain unread
Dover queues again, passport control blues again
Hard and soft borders
Prices going up like the seventies
ee ee ees
Power cuts are back, and the pyromaniacs
Everything's on fire
But never mind, it's the will of the people
Oh, oh, oh, oh
This is not even the worst case scenario
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Come down upon our heads
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Says we won't all be dead x2
P. C. Thirty-one said, "We caught a dirty one"
Ian Duncan Smith
Picks his nose and eats it and stockpiles
His bogies
Rees Mogg lolls and plays with his dolls all day
Says Johnson's not guilty
(Johnson's not guilty)
The judges don't agree and they tell him
So, oh, oh, oh
But as the words are leaving their lips
Scots hatred rises
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Comes down upon our heads
Bang bang Brexit’s Yellowhammer
Says we won't all be dead x2
Mellow Yellowhammer
What about Black Swan? Oi!
|
||||
6. |
Kayak
02:28
|
|||
Darwin was a man of physical endurance
But he had a lot of debt
Then he had a plan to fiddle the insurance
By pretending to be dead
Kayak, kayak
He paddled off in his kayak
Kayak, kayak
But then the silly cunt came back
Darwin and his wife - they got quite impatient
And off to Panama they fled
They got their photo taken with a travel agent
And put it on the internet
Kayak, kayak
He paddled off in his kayak
Kayak, kayak
He was a crap amnesiac
The polis gave his memory a shoogle
Then his story sprang a leak
Someone at The Mirror looked him up on Google
Now he's really up shit creek
Kayak, kayak
Up shit creek without an oar
Kayak, kayak
Should've went to the Azores
Kayak, kayakitty yak
Clint Eastwood's got the movie rights too
Kayak, kayak
Any Which Way You Canoe
Move over Darwin
|
||||
7. |
Please Appease Me
01:56
|
|||
Last night I said these words to Donny
I hope you're wearin a rubber johnny
C'mon, c'mon c'mon c'mon
Appease me oh yeah
And I'll appease you
I hope you like the quaich I brought ye
It's better than a Tamagotchi
C'mon, c'mon c'mon c'mon
Appease me oh yeah
And I'll appease you
I see you've banned the muslims
and don't mention Jerusalem either
And now there's a petition
Please accept my contrition oh do
I do love you ooh ooh
These people are just all malingerers
They're jealous of your hair and fingers
C'mon, c'mon c'mon c'mon
Appease me oh yeah
And I'll appease you
|
||||
8. |
Club Together
02:29
|
|||
Here come the old firm with their birthday suits on
They've got balls and tackle but they've got no boots on
Going scud to end sectarianism
Has anybody told Barry Ferguson?
Watch Glasgow Celtic go into a naked huddle
And then watch them looking very uncomfortable
They're exposed at the back, the front and the side
And when they tossed for kick off
Nakamura nearly died
The ref is starkers too
He's avoiding missiles
You don't want to see where he keeps his whistle
The fans have all gone placid
They don't chant or whoop
The old firm have gone flaccid
That's the brewer's droop, yeah
Club together
In the all together
They had to tattoo their names on their skin
Which didn't please Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink
His goal celebrations were part subdued
Cos when you get excited it is hard when you are nude
Club together
In the all together
It's a little bit nippy
In the autumn weather
|
||||
9. |
||||
10. |
Dear Ringo
02:58
|
|||
“Please! After the 20th October, do not send fan mail to any address that you have. Nothing will be signed after the 20th October.”
Dear Ringo
Won’t you come out to play?
Worrabout a game of bingo
On Saturday
It’s a national super jackpot day
They’ve got a million quid to give away
Hey Ringo
I could get you in for a pound
A pound, a pound, a pound, a pound…
“Steady now. Steady! Go on! Go on! Alright, alright, don’t fuss. Alright, don’t fuss.”
Dear Thomas
I won’t come out to play
I don’t like bingo
I think it’s a bit gay
In a naff sort of way, y’know?
What chance have I of getting a line
I can’t even play the drums in time
Thanks for asking anyway
“Peace and love. Peace and love!”
Now get stuffed, eh?
Hey, Thomas
Did you say a pound?
Yeah. A pound, a pound, a pound, a pound…
“Alright, alright, don’t fuss. Alright, alright, don’t fuss. I’m warning you with peace and love, I have too much to do. No more fan mail. Thank you, thank you.”
“That was funny. That was funny! Goodbye!”
“Peace and love. Peace and love! I’m warning you with peace and love, I have too much to do. No more fan mail. Thank you, thank you.”
“Thomas shut his eyes. I must stop!”
“There watching him was the fat controller.”
|
||||
11. |
Hey Jude Law
02:08
|
|||
Hey Jude
Don't remake films
Sleuth or Alfie - you can't make them better
Remember, you're just another pretty face
Your acting's a disgrace
Michael Cane's much better
Hey Brad
I knew your dad
And your whole family - they were the Pitts
Winona should team up with Richard Madeley
And go on a shoppping spree
To nick more gin for Judy
Hey Leonardo
You've got some bravado
If you think you can save the Titanic
You're stiffer than that big iceberg
And Kate Winslett, yer burd
She was not much better
Na, na, na , nana na na, nana na na Jude Law
Na, na, na , nana na na, nana na na aw naw
Na, na, na , please don't do Zulu oh no
He might be just a big nob
But at least he didn't do The Italian Job
Oh no
|
||||
12. |
||||
Imagine there's No Lennon
It's really quite easy
Cos he was shot dead by Mark Chapman
In 1980
Imagine all The Beatles
Living in Cowdenbeath
You may like Freddie and The Dreamers
But I prefer The Only Ones
Maybe some day Oasis
Will stop ripping off The Beatles songs
|
||||
13. |
Brexitday
02:06
|
|||
You say it's your Brexitday
Goodbye to EU, yeah
They say it's your Brexitday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your Brexitday
Happy Brexitday to you
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
I would like you to dance, Brexitday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance, Brexitday
I would like you to dance, Brexitday
Dance
|
||||
14. |
Working Class Tory
03:38
|
|||
If you're feeling torn, if you feel out of place
There's no point in shooting yourself in the face
Know your enemy, don't be a disgrace
A working class tory is something to be
A working class tory is something to be
They hurt you at work and they hurt you at home
They hate you if you're clever, so don't give the cunts a bone
Are you so fucking crazy you want to hurt your own?
A working class tory is something to be
A working class tory is something to be
When they've tortured and scared you for another ten years
Don't expect anyone to wipe away your tears
You're so fucking useless, you're so full of fear
A working class tory is something to be
A working class tory is something to be
Keep you doped with racism, hate and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants in their eyes, can't you see?
A working class tory is something to be
A working class tory is something to be
There's room at the top they are telling you still
And you swallow this pish, are you all fucking ill?
Wake up to reality, don't be a mug or a shill
A working class tory is something to be
A working class tory is something to be
If you want to be a hero and fight poverty
If you want to be a hero, well, don't vote Tory
|
Streaming and Download help
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp