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Six Months Later

by The Meatless

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Six months ago If I had troubles then I do not know Now it seems my brain got far too slow Oh, memory loss came ... what’s the word? SUDDENLY ...
We've been abandoned at the bottom of the sea The bottom of the sea The bottom of the sea It ain't easy being in the Russian navy We thought that we'd be rescued but apparently Not We've been here For several days My memory Is just a haze They said that they were on their way Last Wednesday or yesterday It's only six weeks since we stood at the bar Singing wish we were back in the USSR It's tough It's tough
I used to think that money Could not buy me love But now I haven't any I know it's worse than that because Can't buy me house Can't buy me food Can't buy me anything There is no ladder Never mind a first step Or a rung It don't get much sadder When you have no chance Of a bung Can't buy me house...
She's had a change of mind after leaving behind home It wasn't quite the adventure she'd hoped on her own She looked up her old place, she just wanted to see Her childhood bedroom is on Airbnb Bloody hell, she thinks, they didn't hang around did they?
Jojo was a man who thought he was a woman But now he's got over all that It really doesn't matter to himself or to his mother If he wants to be a mum or a dad Get Barack back Get Barack back Get this sad sack out And get Barack back where he once belonged Sweet Loretta Modem Came from Werneth, Oldham, She was just another tran All the girls around her thought she was a Democrat But she's Republican
Benefits cut for Mr Kite And anyone else who shows they might Be able to put on a show Universal accreditation Is henceforth withdrawn Across the entire circus portfolio We really don't care if you can spin a plate Or if your horse can dance or you're Catherine the Great We're taking back every penny, we're confiscating your bike There's a scrapheap in the corner you could balance on if you like Take it on the chin or take it in the eye Try to keep a grin when you get a custard pie We can give you breadcrumps or we can give you tripe No more furlough for you or any of your type Benefits cut for Mr Kite
Being the cooncil is easy Misunderstanding the community You can violate Every public space And make some lovely money So let us tear down All of these fields And comandeer them perhaps For student flats Or hotels and car parks
Six months ago I said to you love Please please me and I'll buy you a dog But now I couldn't care less what you get up to Please please yourself now And just leave me out of it, oooooh Please please yourself now Please please yourself now Please please yourself now Ah oooooh I used to care but time has moved on Now you're not here, I'll get the roof done And maybe get an extension built as well Please please yourself now And just leave me out of it, ooooh Go on, go on, go on, go on
Oh I'll tell you something You probably won't understand I got really fed up Of just holding your hand I wanna take off to another sphere and then I wanna hold your hand luggage When we get on that plane
Walking through the woods I saw a bloke with a gun And your bird has been illegally poached But what can you do? I'll tell you what to do One thing you can try is tweet Chris Packham If your bird has been illegally poached Just don't accept defeat Cos he might retweet Sometimes typing's not enough You have to get tough Grab that poacher by the scruff Of the neck Oooooh Sometimes you can't see the woods for the tweed And your bird has been illegally poached It's the way they're taught It's a killing sport Time for land reform, claim the countryside back And your bird has been illegally poached Just put the boot in To huntin and shootin
Let's all agree to give our mothers a break She doesn't need to know every single mistake You make Hey sis Maybe keep your mum out of this
Oh go on go on go on go on go go on go on go on go go on go on go on go go on go on Oversharing It's overbearing We used to be free with our feelings and notions But me and my monkey are now internalising our emotions
He used his hammer to murder several people Now he's in the clink mending his ways At first he was repentant but then felt unequal Especially when he teamed up with the Krays He's going down He's gonna drown All his sorrows In his toolbox He changed his ways They opened his eyes And opened his veins When Maxwell met the Krays
I'd like to be on reality TV Getting tips from Alan Titchmarsh on my fleur de lys I need practical gardening guidance for free Cos my herbaceous border could do with some TLC Horticulturally, I could handle eight secateurs But unfortunately my suckers are full of burrs I'm handy at weeding and pruning a rose But I've no idea where my Rosemary grows Right, that's enough gardening
I found her in the yellow pages Which I'm sure you will agree Is quite old fashioned in these daft ages She had a novel way to gain entry She climbed in through my bathroom window And got right into plumbing My old knackered cistern She was really something She didn't even knock She adjusted my ballcock She didn't need to rush And now everything is flush
Well I got a ticket to ride and it's driving me mad Everytime I get on a train it's making me sad I got the bus replacement blues Tell Tchaicovksy there is no news I gotta get on a bus to you Cos of the wrong kind of snow Oh Leaving a carriage to stand out in the pouring rain To catch a rusty sharabang, it's driving me insane Maybe all this distance is just no good for us I'll just see the girl next door, no need for train or a bus
How does it feel to be one of the social pariahs? How does it feel to be out of the cognoscenti? There but for the grace of google go all of us One little slip and you're out on your ear and on your knees Baby, you've been cancelled Baby, you've been cancelled Oooh
I once had a trip to Ikea God, it was dire I tried to assemble a chair But I dissembled I fear Sorry about the fire I wanted our home to be good I should've bought Norwegian wood Now the Swedish stuff's burnt in the basement Do we really need flatpack replacement?
Watching quiz shows sometimes feels surreal But here's a new concept Here's a new concept What if we could get days of the week to feel To become sentient To become sentient Yesterday will be left behind When Tomorrow wins Mastermind
There's nothing that can't be cured by therapy Happiness can be bought with a fee There's nothing you can say That cannot be explained Through the medium of expediency All you need is counselling All your needs just bouncing Round your head indeed Counselling's all you need


released August 28, 2020


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The Meatless Edinburgh, UK

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