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Sgt Pfeffel's Crony Right Wing Band

by The Meatless

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1.
The ghost of Jimmy Savile and James Blunt Conspiring to bring down the government That’s where we are in 2022 Jacob Rees, Nadine Dorries Brexit Opportunities? What is a satirist to do? After Trump you woulda thunk It couldn’t get more insaner Now we’re confronted with a chump Singing Gloria Gaynor Boris says everyone close ranks You’re not getting us out here without tanks Squadron B, DM me, says Blunt Shut the door, throw away the key Don’t mention the monarchy 2022, the year of the cunt
2.
The morning sun touched lightly on The brains of Nadine Dorries In an empty dusty cavern Of an empty unused mind As she snarled like a numptie Dreaming of the big dog’s favours ‘Till the world turned to red And the room went spinning round At the age of thirty-seven She realised she’d never Ride through Whitehall in a sports car With the warm wind in her hair So she let her brain cells shrivel And continued to drivel Little nursery rhymes she’d memorised From Tory head office
3.
Dick Wash 00:55
Ooh ooh Will you ever investigate Cos let me tell ya everybody’s sick of having to wait The system is not broke, it works a treat If you’re a prime minister or police chief It’s a Dick wash Yet another Dick wash, yeah Come on and sing it with me (Dick wash) Sing it with feelin’ y’all (Dick wash, yeah) Ooh
4.
Lebedev and me The corrupt elite Fuck democracy And the economy We’re all watching you Egocentric guys Look into your eyes Tell the sweetest lies Former Russian spies They’re all watching you Oh can’t you see Dirty money And the KGB Zero empathy Never mind the hordes Take a seat in the Lords There will always be An attendance fee We’ll look after you
5.
Liz Truss’s helmet says Liz Truss is busy Too busy to come to the phone Liz Truss’s helmet says Liz Truss is tryin’ To start a new life of her own Liz Truss’s helmet says Liz Truss is happy “So why don’t you leave her alone?” And the Kremlin operatives put nukes on alert For the next four minutes Please, stop the cosplay And put all your toys away Read the room, act like humans You’re not a fighter pilot, you’re not on the front line Liz Truss
6.
The Met police investigate the No.10 parties Can I suggest they tackle the whole of the Tories please Liz Truss, Priti Patel, Dominic Raab, Michael Gove Rishi Sunak, Jacob Rees Mogg , Peter Bone They like to go to parties but they’re never on their own I know it will never happen because they’re all big pals It’s also like that on TV, they’re all cool guys and gals In their fuckhats (cool fuckhats)
7.
Little Rishi 00:37
It smells a little fishy Oh my little Rishi Smells a little fishy When your wife’s non-dom* You don’t have to work hard You can get a green card Lie until you get caught When your wife’s non-dom Tax for her daddy Not neccessary Now she says sorry Cos you have been caught Chancer and liar Gangster for hire Money buys power When your wife’s non-dom *verse by Sir Henry Root @GorgonsonnSon
8.
Who can wear a toupee (who can wear a toupee) On top of their head (on top of their head) Cover it with wotsits and a dollop of glue? Fabricant (Fabricant) Michael Fabricant (Michael Fabricant) Michael Fabricant says that people just spill out To make themselves feel good (make themselves feel good) They’re spilling out ,so you’d better get this party started Spilling out of offices to get this party started Shite spilling out of all of their orifices
9.
I hear the sound of distant drums It’s Oliver Dowden and his fashionable nostrums Making a speech about freedom Oliver Dowden and his fashionable nostrums Freedom of speech means being free to say what you like Unless it’s something about me which I don’t like Which is completely different You can’t slag off my government Woke ideology is a blight We should be allowed to say whatever we like But if it’s derogatory to me or hurtful Then we’ll legislate to make it illegal I want the values of a free society But don’t you dare to challenge me So we must find the confidence Of Oliver Dowden and his fashionable nostrums
10.
From the blood-soaked bribes to the ‘innocent’ donations Of the Russian oligarchs It’s all part of the London laundromat British companies protect the money Here in Londongrad Yes, yes, yes, it’s the London laundromat Putin-linked elites conspire together Kompromat wherever Unexplained wealth keeps the government Wheels oiled and greased and run Because that’s how it’s done La-la-la la la la-la la-la la-la la-la Oh, my poor robotic hack Yes, yes, yes, it’s the London laundromat La-la-la la-la la-la la-la la-la Oh, the London laundromat Yes, yes, yes, it’s the London laundromat I like my football on a Saturday Especially Chelsea, all right I’ve got a big yacht for my holidays And a big jet parked in Moscow tonight
11.
Priti Patel with a dirty look Knew right away that she’d have to get her hooks in you A-yeah yeah yeah It goes the same for all Tories If you wanna celebrate them for turning on Boris Please Check the sleaze Directly causing deaths with their policies I’m looking at you Theresa and the rest Motivated only by self interest Rory, Ross, Ruth, David Davies A-yeah yeah yeah Your moral compass points to hell Your moral compass points to hell Gove, Sunak, Patel Your moral compass points to hell
12.
Priti Patel with a dirty look Knew right away that she’d have to get her hooks in you A-yeah yeah yeah It goes the same for all Tories If you wanna celebrate them for turning on Boris Please Check the sleaze Directly causing deaths with their policies I’m looking at you Theresa and the rest Motivated only by self interest Rory, Ross, Ruth, David Davies A-yeah yeah yeah Your moral compass points to hell Your moral compass points to hell Gove, Sunak, Patel Your moral compass points to hell
13.
Tractor Porn 01:03
I drove my tractor through your haystack last night Fnarr fnarr I made a film of it and it turned out alright But some guy in the house of commons watched it online And now he’s only went and gone and resigned Oh, I’ve got a brand new side-line industry making tractor porn I am spreading muck everywhere Even on your lawn Neil Parish was a subscriber, but now he’s gorn Oh, I’ve got a brand new side-line industry making tractor porn

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Cover pic and title by Captain Howdy @MajorPazuzu

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released May 6, 2022

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